Love then Marriage...or is it Vice Versa??? (Gen. 24)

In the last few verses of Genesis 24, we engage something that is completely foreign to us. In fact, it doesn't even seem sensible, logical, or appropriate. Isaac is introduced to his wife, Rebekah...they have never met, and have only known each other for a few short moments, and the result is the consummation of marriage with physical intimacy and LOVE...REAL LOVE!
This scenario presents us with some obvious questions about the very "uncultural" way they came together, given our dating and marriage climate in America in 2009.
We considered 4 particular things...1.) Arranged Marriage 2.) Dowry 3.) Bride-Price 4.) Polygamy...As we considered these things we realized that our view of each of them is not true to their original form. Our view is birthed from our current knowledge of the perverted form, not the original form of these things.
We have to be careful, because we are not giving full-fledged approval to any one of these things, especially since they are so different from their original forms. However, in going back to what they were at the onset, we gain insight into a theme that runs through the heart of each of them. A divine theme. This theme is FAMILY!!!
In short, an arranged marriage was a mother and father going to the necessary lengths to ensure that the continued growth of the FAMILY is not wicked and unequally yoked. Dowry and Bride Price were a means by which each FAMILY was taken care of while future generations were kept in view. Polygamy, in short...more mommies mean more babies and a bigger FAMILY.
This view of the family, in each of these situations, has been lost due to fallen man using each of these things as a means to making his own name great. But we know from Genesis, that God made Abraham's name great. And one of the means that God used to do so is this arranged marriage.
Today, marriage is less about the family and more about the individual. You don't often hear a young man or woman say to their parents, "Can you help me find the right one?" Rather, we often hear, "This is who I love! And if you don't like it, then you will have to make the decision if you want to be a part of our lives or not!" In our culture if a parent tries to give their opinion about who their son or daughter should marry, that parent is quickly considered to be meddling and over-bearing.
We must remember that marriage and family are God's design. They are not cultural. The only reason that any culture has marriage and family is because God made it that way. And marriage, families, and the church have everything to do with each other! Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Wives are called to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. Young men are called to treat older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers, and younger women as sisters. And older women are called to train younger women to love their husbands! Again, marriage, family, and the church have EVERYTHING to do with each other.
Sadly, as the church has become less about the family and more about the individual, marriage has followed suit. Divorce rates are at an all-time high, and the only reason we have seen any decline is because of a new trend where people act like they are married without actually marrying. Currently, 40% of all children are born out of wed-lock. These, and many other realities, point to the overall state of the family being less healthy and not flourishing as they were designed to do.
Next week we will consider why we should care if the family flourishes or not. And we will look at what it means to flourish RIGHTLY...in a God-glorifying and God-honoring way. Looking forward to it...