Genesis 24 - Love, Marriage, Family...

In our sixth week in Genesis 24 we have considered God's design for marriage, the family, and how to love. We have been reminded that marriage is not a creation of culture. It is a divine design by God to accomplish the purpose of putting His glory on display by creating man and woman in His image, commanding them to be fruitful and multiply, thereby filling the earth with his glory. Psalm 127 reminds us that "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain." This begs us to ask the question, "Are we letting the Lord build our houses and homes? Are we submitting to His design as the Master Builder?" If not, then we are apparently building in vain. In Genesis 24 we see God fulfilling the promise to make Abraham's name great. One of the means He is using is this arranged marriage between Isaac and Rebekah. God has brought them together and is continuing to build their house, SO THAT they may point others to God and proclaim HIS GREATNESS.
So what happens if we don't submit to Gods design and allow him to build our homes? Exodus 34 says that in turning from God, we, a covenant people, may in fact make a covenant with the culture. And as we covenant with the culture they will invite us to come and "WHORE" after their gods with them. And as we do, we will marry our sons and daughters off to their sons and daughters and they will follow suit, whoring after the gods of the spouses that they have been unequally yoked to. The strong language in this passage reminds us of the sobering and terrifying reality of what happens when we shelve God's design and make a covenant with the culture. We are supposed to be a reflection of God to the culture, not of the culture back to God.
Seeing these two very different pictures, it is easy to conclude that it is of HUGE IMPORTANCE that we care about our marriages and families flourishing. So we must ask, how do we flourish? What is God's design that we might submit to so that our homes are being built by Him in faith, rather than us in vanity? What kind of love is it that builds a home faithfully?
Ephesians 5 commands husbands to "love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her". Has the church, the bride of Christ, ever merited the love of Christ? Is there anything that we could do to earn it? Or is Christ's will to love us greater than our lovability? And Titus 2 explains that in a church, where there is a right order of things, that "older women are to train younger women to love their husband and children". Have you ever considered that within the community of faith, you could be trained... by another sinner... to love your husband and children? Husbands, are you eager to have your wife connect with an older woman so that she might be trained to love you and the kids? TRAINING is a picture of something you do when you want to be pushed beyond your natural ability. Good training usually involves a good amount of sacrifice and pain and being broken down so that you may come back stronger. To keep at it, there must be a will to do so, because your emotions will tell you it is just too much.
Ravi Zacharias, author of "I Isaac take thee Rebekah" states, "Love is as much a question of the will as it is the emotion. And if you will to love somebody, you can." That may be one of the most UNCULTURAL quotes that I have ever shared. It is not cultural to will to love someone. Culture says that if it takes work to love, then it probably isn't love. Culture says that it is supposed to be easy because the two in the relationship are "just soooo lovable". I would add that there obviously has to be a balance of the emotion and the will. But I would also offer that your emotion and passion will be limited by your will to love. If your will to love is great, passion will likely be great. A will to love will rightly inform passion and the emotions.
In both Ephesians 5 and Titus 2 we see an intersection between marriage and church. Marriage, Church, and Family are not separate spheres of life. They have everything to do with each other. Our standard for love within marriage is the example Christ set in loving the church. It is within the church, the community of believing covenant people, that our love is tested and tried and informed and trained.
This week, we will continue to look at this relationship between marriage, family and the church, and we will consider that as the church has become less about the family and more about the individual, marriage has followed suit. One indicator that we will consider is how similar the language is between the unhappy individualistic spouse, and the unhappy individualistic church member... "You are not making me happy, so I am going to go and look elsewhere..." This selfish, individualistic approach to marriage and to church is so damaging. If we submit to God's design, the will to love will keep us from parting ways over a difference of opinion, while holding high the value of TRUTH as it is revealed by God.

Love then Marriage...or is it Vice Versa??? (Gen. 24)

In the last few verses of Genesis 24, we engage something that is completely foreign to us. In fact, it doesn't even seem sensible, logical, or appropriate. Isaac is introduced to his wife, Rebekah...they have never met, and have only known each other for a few short moments, and the result is the consummation of marriage with physical intimacy and LOVE...REAL LOVE!
This scenario presents us with some obvious questions about the very "uncultural" way they came together, given our dating and marriage climate in America in 2009.
We considered 4 particular things...1.) Arranged Marriage 2.) Dowry 3.) Bride-Price 4.) Polygamy...As we considered these things we realized that our view of each of them is not true to their original form. Our view is birthed from our current knowledge of the perverted form, not the original form of these things.
We have to be careful, because we are not giving full-fledged approval to any one of these things, especially since they are so different from their original forms. However, in going back to what they were at the onset, we gain insight into a theme that runs through the heart of each of them. A divine theme. This theme is FAMILY!!!
In short, an arranged marriage was a mother and father going to the necessary lengths to ensure that the continued growth of the FAMILY is not wicked and unequally yoked. Dowry and Bride Price were a means by which each FAMILY was taken care of while future generations were kept in view. Polygamy, in short...more mommies mean more babies and a bigger FAMILY.
This view of the family, in each of these situations, has been lost due to fallen man using each of these things as a means to making his own name great. But we know from Genesis, that God made Abraham's name great. And one of the means that God used to do so is this arranged marriage.
Today, marriage is less about the family and more about the individual. You don't often hear a young man or woman say to their parents, "Can you help me find the right one?" Rather, we often hear, "This is who I love! And if you don't like it, then you will have to make the decision if you want to be a part of our lives or not!" In our culture if a parent tries to give their opinion about who their son or daughter should marry, that parent is quickly considered to be meddling and over-bearing.
We must remember that marriage and family are God's design. They are not cultural. The only reason that any culture has marriage and family is because God made it that way. And marriage, families, and the church have everything to do with each other! Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Wives are called to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ. Young men are called to treat older men as fathers, older women as mothers, younger men as brothers, and younger women as sisters. And older women are called to train younger women to love their husbands! Again, marriage, family, and the church have EVERYTHING to do with each other.
Sadly, as the church has become less about the family and more about the individual, marriage has followed suit. Divorce rates are at an all-time high, and the only reason we have seen any decline is because of a new trend where people act like they are married without actually marrying. Currently, 40% of all children are born out of wed-lock. These, and many other realities, point to the overall state of the family being less healthy and not flourishing as they were designed to do.
Next week we will consider why we should care if the family flourishes or not. And we will look at what it means to flourish RIGHTLY...in a God-glorifying and God-honoring way. Looking forward to it...

A Silhouette of Camels (Genesis 24)

In our last study in Genesis 24, we ended with Isaac seeing a silhouette of camels in the distance. And those camels meant one thing! His wife had arrived!
Before getting to this point we have had a long chapter of divinely ordered events. Abraham sends out Eliezer, the head servant of the house, to find a wife for Isaac among his kindred in his homeland. Eliezer sets off on his 450 mile journey and we see a beautiful display of quiet diligence...a servant who does not get entangled in civilian pursuits but is insistent on sticking to his orders...a servant who is all about pleasing his master and trusting God. Upon arrival he prays to God for a sign, and before He is done praying, BEHOLD! Rebekah enters the picture. This was a beautiful reminder to us that God knows our deepest needs before we voice them. And as the story continues, a three-part theme forms that is good for us to consider. Eliezer (1) pays attention to the details, (2) worships God in the midst of the details, and (3) then shares the details with others so that they can worship God in a like manner.
As good servants of God, we can learn from this. The heart of the worshipper is to glorify God in all things. Worship is a response to God revealing Himself to us. If we do not pay attention to the details, there is no fuel for our worship. There is nothing to proclaim. One of the simplest forms of worship is recounting... saying "Wow! God did _______". But if we do not pay attention to the details, we have nothing with which to fill in the blank. And we have nothing to share with others so that they might worship God in a like manner. Psalm 9:1 "I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds." Whole-heartedness in worship is directly linked to recounting His deeds! These deeds are the very treasure that we are to pass on to our children. It is paying attention to these details and sharing them that there is any true heritage to be cherished.

Through the end of the chapter we continue to see Eliezer use sober-minded judgment as he shares and interacts. Upon arriving back home, he sticks to the original theme as he tells Isaac "all the things that he had done." We have a 67 verse chapter that reiterates and repeats the same details again and again. Let us not look them over quickly, missing what God has done. At the end of this chapter, God has brought two people together who have never met. Two people that have lived hundreds of miles apart. Two people who would be GOD'S HERITAGE FOR HIS PEOPLE! And they meet and LOVE each other. Real LOVE after only a few moments of knowing each other! How can this be?
This week we will begin to look at the last 2 verses of chapter 24 and consider how true, lasting, enduring love could possibly exist in such a short amount of time. We will also consider what this marriage has to do with the church.

Funny Responses...

My oldest daughter Ella has some of the funniest responses to comments that I make or questions that I ask. Sometimes she will misuse words and it just turns out funny. People keep saying that I should write these things because one day I will read them and laugh... So here is my first attempt to begin a record of these things...

Daddy: "Ella, come here so that I can wipe your hands off."
Ella: "No Daddy, I want to keep them on..."